Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I have already put on my inside pants.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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