the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
