I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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