Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
