Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
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