new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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