planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
