did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Shame is for Republicans.
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