some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
either way he was missing a nipple.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
