if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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