Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
