THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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