Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
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