Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
