my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Randomize
