ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
