no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
