I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
