I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
