You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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