The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
