I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Randomize
