I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
if i died would you start the facebook group?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
