shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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