conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
