it glows. i had to have it.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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