Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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