I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I woke up under a house in Key West
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