Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
