you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
