I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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