There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Randomize
