i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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