a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
