brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Life is so much better after having sex.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
