and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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