I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
