"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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