WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
