You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Is Oprah even human
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Randomize
