Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
