drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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