I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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