how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
