she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
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