my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Shame - the story of my life.
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