try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
