Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
