if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
