u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
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